Secret Ingredient – CS

I am top chef here, you understand? You PIG!

You NEVER give away my secret ingredient.

If they ask if the Diced Monkfish dish has any peanuts in it, you say NO. You UNDERSTAND? They can’t find out my special twist!

Are you sure, they will ask, nervously. YES. You are SURE. Jesus CHRIST!

If their wife reaches for the epi-pen you SLAP IT OUT OF HER HAND. No NUTS WERE IN THIS DISH, you insist. HE MUST JUST BE A VERY SICK MAN. Our secret is safe. A happy day.

When he passes, you grieve alongside them. You are her husband now, you understand. AND YOUR ADOPTIVE SON IS MY NEW WAITER NOW. YOU UNDERSTAND?? You must teach him our ways, although he will learn to hate you almost immediately.

What was that? (laughs) Sorry, Bob… I must have misheard you? What the fuck did you just say to me? (punching) THIS IS MY MCDONALDS AND I RUN IT MY WAY!!!


Leave a Comment