The Squirrels and I; or Tale of a F-1 Non-Resident Alien – Carlos Malache


If I went to my bedroom, what do I expect? My bed. If I go to a war-zone, death; If I go to a prison, prisoners; if I go to a hospital, sick people and doctors trying to cure them; if I go to a palace, kings and queens; in churches, clergy and laity; in a school, teachers and students. If I go to homes I find families.

What do I mean by this platitude? If I come to the U.S., I find “Americans.” If I’ve come to a post-industrial society, I expect bureaucratic migratory grinding as a first welcome, from the cubicles of their human assembly line. I wish the random checks randomly got not-so-random–checking me every time because of me. But precisely there’s the beauty of it: it’s nothing personal. Precisely there is the catch: it’s not because of you, you brown, black, yellow, South American, Arabic, Indian, African, you; … Read more

Black Consciousness Thoughts – Mariama Ndiaye

Author’s Note: Monday night in the midst of writing about Rastafarianism, with the protests in Baltimore clouding my mind, a flood of feels came to my attention and I had to let it out in the midst of poetry. Once I shared this with a few of my POC friends, I realized that these inner thoughts aren’t solely mine. I wrote this in one sitting, and have forsaken edits,  for I really just want you all to be in my head, and possibly many of your friends’ heads, for a minute.

I’m scared.

I’m scared that my anger will be diminished by this presence.

This ever-seeking future marked by abuse and hatred

As I try to climb up the ladder on the backs of my people

To reach success for the betterment of these peoples.Read more

A Good Word for Adam Falk – Alex Sun


Students are discontent about a lot of things, and they have a right to be. Today, the newest phalanx of student discontent is directed at the man at the top: President Adam Falk. This discontent has become increasingly obvious since the article “Where the Falk Are You” found its way onto these hallowed pages. The article, which argues that President Falk has been absent on campus life, has touched a collective nerve on the student body. Common descriptions of the President from students include “shifty,” “glib,” and “awkward.” These descriptions are usually made in jest, but, nonetheless, they paint a negative image. … Read more

Let’s Be Blunt – Anonymous


Two days ago, every student on campus who smokes cannabis with any degree of frequency probably did so, most likely to excess. Plenty of occasional smokers or even first-timers, pushed on by friends and the drug’s rising national awareness, joined in to celebrate the hazy holiday. Between all the joints, bowls, blunts, bong rips, cut up water bottle pipes, and dabs consumed by the campus population, something remarkable occurred: nothing bad happened. … Read more

Williams Alternative Discusses: Hookup Culture

Editor’s Note: In an effort to promote face-to-face conversation about important topics, the Williams Alternative presents “Williams Alternative Discusses”–a series of on-the-record group discussions about issues relevant to campus life.

For our conversation on hookup culture at Williams, we invited Henry Bergman, ’15, Molly Leonard, ’16, Michella Ore, ’16, and Matt Hayes, ’17, to open up about their experiences. To catalyze our conversation, we used the “What Makes a Good Friend Worksheet” (reproduced below), which was sent to us by a JA, who had used it in a discussion with her entry–as many JAs had. The unedited transcript of the conversation, moderated by Quentin Cohan, ’17, appears below.

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Quentin Cohan: We are collected here today now to do this. I was thinking Molly because you did this in some capacity with your entry, went over the sheet. If you could just kind of give us what you guys talked about and what the sheet is exactly and why you guys did it. What the idea of the exercise was. Read more

New Committee Formed to Review Musical Performances – Anonymous


In light of the recent controversy on Facebook regarding the cultural and racial politics of the music of Asian-American rappers Awkwafina and Dumbfoundead, both scheduled to perform in Goodrich Hall on the 17th of April as part of the upcoming REACH Conference, the Office of Student Life announced this morning that all scheduled performances by visiting artists would be indefinitely suspended. In an email addressed to the student body, OSL declared that all musical events at the college have been put on hiatus pending the creation and subsequent approval of a new subcommittee, which will be responsible for reviewing every proposed musician. Among the responsibilities of the new Subcommittee for Investigations Leading to Ending Needless Cultural Exploitation are in-depth analyses of each artist’s lyrics, genre, musical style, affected accents, Twitter and Facebook posts, memoirs, tabloid interviews, and subconscious attitudes. … Read more

End of the Year Committee Reports, 1849 – Colin Adams, Thomas T. Read Professor of Mathematics


The Faculty Steering Committee

This year, the Steering Committee agonized over the question of whether the College should strive to become a first rank research university, or whether it should continue to remain a college with a single faculty member, a single student and a single classroom consisting of one log. Although no conclusion has been reached, Mark Hopkins suggested that with God’s grace, we will find a way out of this logjam. Perhaps some other alternative will present itself, and we will discover the true nature of Williams College. … Read more

Malia Obama Accepted for College Class of 2020 – Quentin Cohan


In a surprise announcement Tuesday night, Richard L. Nesbitt, Williams College Director of Admissions, said that the College had gone against its standard admissions procedure and accepted the President’s eldest daughter, who is a junior in high school, a year ahead of schedule–making her the first member of the College’s class of 2020. “Our goal every year is to create as talented and accomplished a class of 550 young men and women as we can,” Nesbitt explained, “and, though we do not normally deliberate on students before their final year of high school, there were considerations in this situation which we deemed allowed for circumventing the usual process.”
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